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Once I decided to ask Kimber to marry me, three questions had to be answered:
How?
When?
Where?
I wanted the proposal to be unique and not
something like everybody
else is doing. It also had to be special
and not too dumb or corny (A
very difficult thing according to those
who know me well--right
Special K?). Consequently, the answer
to these three questions was
not easy and, as I'm sure everyone will
agree, they usually never
are. Luckily for me, the when and
where questions worked out
perfectly. I simply had to recognize
the opportunity that had
presented itself and take advantage of it.
Now, on to the proposal......
How?
Interestingly enough, the answer to this
question came to me
while walking down the street one day, and
I really wasn't even
thinking about it. It was inspiration
in its pure and simplest form,
which is how I know that this was the right
way to propose. Now,
I'm sure that everyone has heard it said,
or said themselves, that
a particular girl had stolen the key to
their heart. Well, I
felt this was particularly true here (Kimber
had stolen the key to my
heart). So, I decided to use the saying
as the basis upon which
to design my proposal to Kimber.
Although there were several variations on
the idea, what I decided
to do was give Kimber a heart, to symbolize
my heart, and a key
with which to open it. Inside the
heart would be ring. However, I
wanted to do it as a multi-level thing with
each level having a
particular meaning of its own. Sort
of a gift within a gift within
a gift.
The most important part of this proposal,
and the
most difficult, was finding something that
resembled a heart and
yet had to be opened with a key. Immediately,
I thought of
a jewelry box. So, off to the mall
I went in search of a heart
shaped jewelry box that locked and had a
beautiful, ornate key. I
looked at Things Remembered, and while they
had lots of heart
shaped boxes, none of them had locks.
I also noted that the
heart shaped boxes were a bit gaudy for
everyday use.
My next stop was The Bombay Company.
Here, I found beautiful
musical jewelry boxes, but none shaped like
a heart. The wonderful
ladies there, after hearing my proposal
story and trying to get me
to teach their significant others how to
be creative and romantic
like this, sent me off to the San Francisco
Music Box Factory.
The manager of the one at the Town Center
Mall was extremely
patient and helpful and friendly.
I told her what I wanted to do
and she suggested one of several beautiful
Italian hand-made
musical jewelry boxes with inlaid heart
designs on the lids.
As you can see from the picture, the box
I choose was absolutely
gorgeous. It was a deep rose color
that was very Valentine's
Day period correct. I knew that it
was the one. And the heart
itself on the lid was exquisite and incredibly
beautiful. The music
for the box was the Elvis song "I can't
help falling in love with
you." I was convinced that Kimber
would be thrilled with it. Plus,
the fact that the box itself was not heart
shaped was a plus. As
I mentioned, the heart shaped boxes that
I saw were somewhat
gaudy and did not lend themselves to everyday
use. Because this
box had a more traditional design, with
only a decorative heart
inlaid on the lid, it was better suited
for everyday use and looked
more like a normal jewelry box. The
clincher was the beautiful brass
key that came with a red tassell attached
to it. Truly, this was a key
fit for unlocking a heart.
Next, I decided to have the words "Will You
Marry Me" caligraphied
on a piece of old style parchment paper
(like the US Constitution
is written on). I attached the ring
to the paper with a red cord.
The paper was then rolled up and tied it
with a red cord, similar to
what they might have done in historic England
when the Kings and
Queens utlized scrolls. The "scroll"
was then placed inside the jewelry,
thus being within the heart. Only
upon unlocking the "heart" and
opening it would the ring be found.
The parchment and caligraphy I
obtained from Papyrus. Again, the
people there were extremely
friendly and helpful. Plus, they had
everything I needed, including
beautiful small red cards that were blank
inside and which I could
use to write in the messages I wanted.
I used the cards purchased from Papyrus to
write personalized
messages, sort of subtle clues as to what
lay ahead and instructions
on what step should next be taken.
The envelope containing the
first card was entitled "The
Key" and placed on the outside of a
box wrapped in lion Valentine paper.
Upon opening the envelope,
Kimber found this beautiful red card which
said "To my Beloved:
Here in lies the key
to my heart, which I gladly give to you. Guard
it well so that it
will remain yours alone, always and forever."
So, she opens this box and what does she
find? That's right, another box
wrapped in decorative heart designed Valentine
gift wrap. Attached
to this box was another envelope entitled
"The Heart" and the
beautiful brass key with the red tassel.
The card inside this envelope
said "To my Beloved:
Within this box lies my heart. Use your key wisely for
all that I am &
all that I shall be is contained therein." So, Kimber opens
this box and finds the jewelry box, which
she thinks is her
gift. WRONG, she sees yet another
envelope entitled "The Soul" attached
to the jewelry box. The card inside
this envelope said "Within this heart
is my soul and my
innermost desires. All these things and
more I wish to share
with you for so long as we both shall live." It
was at this point, she should have been
getting suspicious. BUT, she
didn't. She just thought this was
me being crazy and goofy.
So Kimber then uses the key to open the
jewelry box, which I had locked.
She opens it up and the music starts playing.
Inside she sees
the scroll and one last envelope on which
is written "The Answer."
She goes for the card first and I have to
tell her "No, open the
scroll first."
She does, but opens it backwards with the proposal
facing away from her. The only thing
on the back is the date:
February 4, 2000 (the date of the proposal).
She reads it and has this
weird look on her face. She starts
to ask me about it but, she felt
the ring that was attached to the scroll
and starts shaking. She then turns the parchment scroll over and
sees the words and the ring (the EXACT RING
that she had picked out, and it finally
hits her what this elaborate
scheme was all about. At that point,
she thought she
was done and I said, "No, you have to open
the card now." She said
she word but only after I placed the ring
on her finger. So after
putting the ring on her finger, she opens
the last card. On the
top of the card inside the envelope marked
"The Answer"
were the words "Please
Check One." Below, on the left side of the card
was a small box beside which was written
"Yes. I WILL
marry you."
On the right side of the card was another small box
and beside it was written "No.
I WILL NOT marry you."
Obviously, she checked yes or you wouldn't
be reading this and
I would be feeling like a fool.
When?
The timing of the proposal worked out beautifully
like it had been
planned all along. At Betsy's wedding
in Dallas (Yes, the Betsy that
put Kimber and I together), Kimber made
plans for us to visit Betsy
and her new husband for the weekend of February
4, 2000.
Another close friend of hers, Laura Heeble
(who is now Laura
Brunner, wife of Kevin Brunner) also was
going to be there. It
occurred to me that February 4 was a perfect
time to ask Kimber
to marry me. We would be with 2 of
her best friends, I had the ring,
it was close enough to Valentine's Day without
being so close as
to be associated with all the other proposals
that typically occur
during that time, and we were ready to be
together. (Not to mention
that neither of us are getting any younger).
The funny thing is that
she thought I would do it at Christmas.
Obviously, she thought
wrong. I specifically did not want
to do it at Christmas because
that seemed to predictable.....and I was
right. So, after it didn't
happen, she just resigned herself to waiting
for me to get around to
it. Little did she know at Christmas
that I already had it all planned
out. I'm just glad that its not hard
for me to keep a secret or
else I might have felt the urge to blab.
I bet she was thinking
that she might have to give me an ultimatum,
like her mom did
to her dad (which is another story for another
time).
Where?
The location (at Betsy's home) also played
out perfectly. What better
place to ask Kimber to Marry me than at
the home of the person
who introduced us, was responsible for us
being together, and
who was our biggest cheerleader. I
felt like there was no other
place that could hold such significance
or meaning. Betsy was
excited beyond words and thought my idea
was a great one. She
was looking forward to being a part of it.
Fortunately for me, she
and Laura (and their husbands) were willing
accomplices in my
scheme. Kimber asked me who all knew
and I had to tell that
pretty much everybody but her knew about
it. Something like
that might normally upset a woman, fortunately,
a ring on
a finger is a HUGE distraction that made
it look much less troubling.
Kimber's Reaction
Surprised is not an apt description for Kimber's
reaction. She was
totally shocked
because she did not have a clue that the proposal was
coming. I was successful in keeping
this thing totally under wraps.
There were a couple of bumps along the way,
but damage control
smoothed them out. In order to pull
this off, I enlisted the help of
Betsy and Laura. They were wonderfully
helpful in their suggestions
and assistance. With knowledge of
what lay ahead, we all
thoroughly enjoyed watching Kimber open
a card, then a box; only
to find another box, with a large beautiful
decorative key on it
and another card. Then opening that box
to find a gorgeous, but
locked, jewelry box with yet another card
on it. Finally, using the
key to unlock the jewelry box and finding
the scroll, which when
unwrapped, held a ring with the words "Will
You Marry Me"
caligraphied on the scroll. She was
shaking so badly she
couldn't speak. Amazingly, she didn't
cry like I thought she would.
Other than opening up the scroll backwards,
and forgetting to check
Yes or No on the last card (eventually,
I just told her that the proposal
was not valid unless accepted in writing
by checking one of the
boxes), it went well.
The only other major bumps were how do I
give her a gift
without her becoming suspicous. The
answer to this was
that all the guys would give the girls gifts.
It Worked Perfectly!
In fact, playing right into my hand, Kimber
suggested that she
open hers last. Damage control had
to be utilized when I told Kimber
that I was probably going to have to get
her a little pre-Valentines
Day gift because I had heard that everybody
else was giving
gifts. She asked Betsy and Betsy told
her she didn't know anything
about and said that it must have come from
Ralph. Kimber actually felt
bad, like she had let the cat out of the
bag and spoiled the surprise
for Ralph. Nothing more was ever said
about it until an email from
Ralph showed up with directions to their
house and instructions not
to forget the gifts for the girls (which
I showed to Kimber). What
helped too was that Kimber thought I had
bought her a Faith Hill CD,
which I did, but it was not in the box.
She even told me later that
she was wondering why I wrapped up a CD
in that fashion. I
think the ring answered that question, don't
you?
The cool thing is that I have it all on video
tape. Everyone that I've told has been totally impressed by the method
of the proposal. They think it was very unique and very romantic.
Many (including all the employees at the stores where I bought everything)
have begged me to write a book or teach their significant others how to
come up with and do similarly romantic things. I'm thinking about
it so who knows. Write a book on "Creative Romance Techniques in
Dating and Marriage." Sell a million copies and then start giving
seminars. Could it be? Maybe....the next John Gray? Perhaps,
but for now, I have better things to do.
